Author: Derrick Koon

As many know, Stoics believe that the only good is virtue. Physical things, social status, and even personal health are considered “indifferents” as they are not necessary for us to practice or attain virtue. As I think about applying virtue, and creating environments conducive to practicing virtue, I recall an episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show. Now I am not much of a TV or movie viewer, and certainly do not seek out talk shows, but fate smiled in allowing me to see this episode.

In the show, Oprah is in Denmark which at the time of airing was considered the happiest country on earth. Oprah was speaking with a Danish mother from a location in a beautiful, but tiny bedroom of one of her children. Oprah said something like “this room is so beautiful but is very small, where are all the toys and stuff?” To which the mother replied “Oprah, we have a saying here ‘Less space, less stuff, more life’.” The mother went on to explain that the children and parents spend less time with their “stuff” and more time outside, creating experiences and relationships with others.

I personally struggle to be more like this Danish mother focusing on wanting less to live more. In my family we try to frame our desires as “needs” vs “wants”. Needs are those things we must have to live and wants are “preferred indifferents.” Preferred indifferents, such as new lawn furniture, more complex cell phones, top-end electric bikes, and extensive wardrobes are unnecessary for living fully. Of course, I have good-natured debates with my 16-year-old daughter on the definition of a need vs what is a want. I frequently lose the fight and we have plenty more stuff than we truly need. Yet, I sometimes can help reframe and minimize my “needs” and I think it helps me refocus on developing my virtue and driving “more life.”

To me, this Oprah episode is a modern version of Epictetus reminding his students to not get attached to things, and in doing so result in a greater sense of peace or equanimity. Perhaps if he were alive today, he might even be quoted as saying “Less stuff creates more space for the good life.”

What do you think?

“Chop that wood

Carry water

What’s the sound of one hand clapping?

Enlightenment, don’t know what it is…  

Enlightenment, don’t know what it is 

It’s up to you, the way you think….”     Van Morrison, Enlightenment, 1990

In 1984, I was a young ICU nurse recovering adult and child open heart surgeries by day and dreaming of enlightenment by night.  My new husband and I were devotees of Paramahansa Yogananda, founder of the Self-Realization Fellowship and temple in Encinitas, California; we had the aura of many emerging from the 70s, a pressing but uneasy God urge. That year, when the New Age Press published an amazing book called “Chop Wood Carry Water: a Guide to Spiritual Transformation ( Rick Fields), we practically vibrated with joy at its simple but powerful message about personal transformation. The message: it’s the little stuff, people. 

In fact, it’s the mundanity of the sink full of dishes, the commute, the cat litter box, and the slow line at the market which strains our romantic notions of living in spiritual bliss. But Chop Water philosophy is a marvelous and practical roadmap for Stoicism, as well as its original Zen origins.  Now doing these repetitive, boring, mindless tasks is a gift. Given the right attitude, we apply gratitude, virtue, eudaimonia, oikeosis, and attention to the simple, endless tasks of living, as much as to the ‘big’ things. What happens? No lost time, every moment becomes the transformation, resentment fades away, character strengthens, families, are nurtured, and we face our fates with grace. We love our life again, all of it, even a day full of bills.  So, bring on the laundry.  I can find the divine in it, the divine in me doing the work in front of me with a laugh and a little bit more of Stoic joy.

Epictetus said “We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak’ and the Dalai Lama said “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.” I have always aspired to be a good listener…I think it is due in part to having an older sister who was born deaf. From very early in my childhood I realized the value in being able to hear, and especially being able to listen, as my sister had very little capacity for either and I vicariously witnessed her suffering. However, as I moved through adolescence and into adulthood, I am sure I lost sight of the value of listening as I was constantly trying to improve my storytelling skills and fighting for limelight in both personal and professional settings. I had learned from multiple data points that in professional settings, those who command the most “airtime” are most likely to be promoted and have better career trajectories. Therefore, if I wanted to get ahead, I should speak in all settings regardless of the value or power of my thoughts. And so, I did.

In recent years however, as I am getting into the later phase of my career, and especially since I have become a practicing Stoic, I have really worked on the art of listening. For me, when I realized the cardinal virtues of justice/morality and wisdom, listening became a critical behavior to upholding those values. I recently heard this quote, “if you want to attain knowledge, add something every day. If you want to attain wisdom, subtract something every day.” I love the quote and I think it has helped me as I aspire to subtract my need to verbalize my thoughts and create space to truly listen, beyond just hearing, to what others are saying. It has increased my connectedness to others as I am confident I understand them better and has driven great satisfaction and equanimity. I also believe in reverse, it has strengthened friendships as others feel seen or heard, at least on occasions when I am at my best.

 
Like all virtues, listening requires my disciplined attention and practice and I try not to create expectations for certain outcomes, but merely enjoy the value listening reaps for me in the moment.

 
We’d love to hear your tips on how you practice listening!

With gratitude and respect,

Kathryn,Todd, Derrick,

Mr. Phillips was as old as Methuselah (969 years?), lifting up his chalk to the board with his other hand to stay steady but still grinning, sparkling with amusement over the laws of thermodynamics.  Dr. Woods was aggressive, competitive, and determined to set me right.  My nursing instructors were patient but eagle-eyed protectors of the sick, who sometimes let me fail in order to underscore the value of humility. My Peace Corps teachers were witty, worldly, and morally righteous, with the burden of the world on their backs. And then there were all those bosses, who instructed me on the way to win or lose, to find the holes in the organization, to serve others and stay clear of bureaucrat potholes, to look for opportunities wide enough to jump through, stay to the ‘true north’, and lead in the best and worst of times with grace and calm and reason.  

Some of my best teachers have been in the College of Stoic Philosophers, both as faculty and students.  Two of them led me to face myself straight in the mirror.  One, in particular, was extraordinary for his own accomplishments: he single-handedly lifted the study of Stoic philosophy from obscurity and away from academics into the laps of average seekers, such as you and me.  Eric Weigardt, the founder of the College of Stoic Philosophers and this Registry Report, knew 50 years ago that he was a practicing stoic and that he didn’t want to be one alone.  To that end, he started a school, one that provided eager, curious, and brave Stoics-to-be with a map toward personal transformation.  As my teacher and mentor, he welcomed me to think hard, study widely, and practice as if my life depended on it.  He also believed I too had a mind that could handle Stoic ideas and present them back to others. And so, I am a Stoic teacher, always yearning towards sagehood, always hoping that I can tap someone else’s shoulders and help them on their way.  Always following Epictetus’s wisdom that ‘only the educated are free! (Book 2, Chapter 1).  Here’s to our teachers, with love.

With gratitude and respect,

Kathryn,Todd, Derrick,

If you have read any of The Discourses of Epictetus you have encountered his thoughts on preconceptions and they being the cause of “all human ills” (Epictetus, Discourses 4.1.4.2). Given that for much of Discourses his focus is on the three disciplines (Assent, Action, Desire) it is strange to see so much focus being given to this as the cause of all ills. However if we understand what a preconception is in Stoic philosophy and the role it plays in the use of impressions we get a feel for why so much weight was placed on the notion of preconceptions.

Preconceptions, are judgments of impressions that exist prior to experiencing the impression. That is a lot of jargon in one sentence so I will try and explain in more modern terms. A preconception is in a nutshell ideas formed about some thing before experiencing that thing.

It may be helpful instead to have an example of a preconception. Suppose you are walking in the park and you see a man jogging along. You see the sweat in his shirt and his heavy breathing and you say to yourself, man that looks like a lot of work. What you have done without thinking is applied a preconception. In this case, that preconception is that sweating and breathing heavy are negative things. From his perspective however he may be enjoying the run and the sweat and deep breathing bring him joy.

The takeaway from this is that when we are judging impressions in our daily life we must remember that we often bring bias and opinions that we do not realize to the table. Our preconceptions influence what impressions we give assent to, so care must be taken to apply those preconceptions carefully and with intent. Further we must understand that others bring their own to the mix and often they are at odds with our own. This is why so much emphasis is given to their application. Part of Stoic philosophy is examining our preconceptions and refining them and their application through reflection and study.

With gratitude and respect,

Todd, Derrick, Kathryn

By César Avilés

In his letter 75 to Lucilius, Seneca argues that progress depends on two things: great natural gifts and constant studious application. The former as we all know, doesn’t concern our doing; but the latter might be a decision that could notably impact our progress. Yet throughout the letter Seneca seems to suggest that we shouldn’t strive for progress. That even though there are two higher levels (which he briefly discusses), we shouldn’t try to reach them.

“You will realize that it is sufficient achievement for us if we are not among the worst.”

We might say that when it comes to progress, Seneca’s priority is to secure “a place from which there is no backsliding.” He is aware that the common prokopton doesn’t yet have the discipline (the knowledge) required to maintain a high level, and goes on to suggest that an attempt to rush progress—by desiring a higher level—could lead the practitioner to great danger, namely, to fall out of the path altogether.

I speculate that keeping a foot on the path of the prokopton is achieved by maintaining our current level with regard to one vicious action. Focusing on just one vicious habit—the very minimum—would avoid an overload and ensure that we reach that place from which there is no backsliding; a place above “the worst.” That, implies Seneca, is sufficient achievement.

It follows that progress does not only mean leveling up by tackling multiple vices over a lifetime. Progress is also achieved at a smaller, almost invisible scale. For example, if you have been fighting what Seneca calls “a hard infirmity of the soul” for years, and you keep failing, but you also keep trying to assent to what you understand is an adequate impression—backed up by Stoic principles! —you are making progress.

You may or not be moving fast along the spectrum of Stoic practitioning, but you’re progressing. Most importantly, you’ll be securing that place from which there is no backsliding. In Seneca’s book, that should be our priority as low-level prokoptons.

As the Christmas week stretches towards 2023, I mull over how the act of thinking about our future can cause us to feel such a vast range of nuanced emotions;  and so often turns to worry. Some of this is culturally driven.  For example, take a look at the cover of the upcoming January edition of The Atlantic (https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine),  featuring a provocative trompe l’oeil cover entitled “Notes from the Apocalypse”. Playing on our deepest concerns, from the winter’s climate crisis, the rise of weird and dangerous politicians, and even the end of humanity as we know it, who wouldn’t fret? Now, the Stoics knew that life can throw us around and that it wasn’t always pretty. They had antidotes for such treacherous moments when our own imagination and courage take us to dark, spooky places in our heads. They practiced Memento Mori, Reverse Clause, reverse visualizations, and even PreMeditatio Malorum, to get prepared for whatever comes.  

A modern approach can also help us face our own Future UnEasiness: the Feeling Wheel (Feelings Wheel).  Created originally by Robert Plutchik (1980), and modified by various authors, the wheel organizes 72 feelings into a colorful pie chart and buckets them into core groups, such as sad, bad, mad, disgusted, scared, joyful, powerful, and peaceful.  Moving outward from the inside core groups, two more granular levels of emotions align to the core feeling….such as remorse may be connected to guilt which leads to sadness. Happiness may actually be optimism which is felt as inspiration. Why would we want to identify and label our emotional states more precisely? Because by doing so, we shift to our cerebral cortex rather than our limbic system but more importantly, we can then address the real emotion with more accurate actions. Stoically, we can replace our named but false impressions with more accurate and positive interpretations of what we are facing. And this too, helps us prepare for whatever comes. 

So, whether you use a contemporary tool for your future gazing or an ancient one, we wish you a tremendous, productive, emotionally accurate, and flourishing 2023.  Amor Fati!

With gratitude and respect,

Todd, Derrick, Kathryn

If you look at the tv and internet it looks as though we as a people are about to collapse. Political strife, war, disease, all of these constantly repeated loudly over and over on our phones and TVs all hours of the day. So what does all this access give us? In short it gives us anxiety and worry. But it also provides an opportunity to practice Stoicism at a level that Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius could never have dreamed of. An often misunderstood aspect of Stoicism is it’s maxim “living in accordance with nature”. Down through history it has been characterized as “going with the flow” or “apathy towards events”.

But the Stoics were not apathetic, in fact they were some of the most active change agents in all of ancient history. Seneca worked with the young Nero to try and shape him. Marcus Aurelius waged wars and worked to keep Rome a dominant force. Cato fought Caesar and gave his life rather than submit to his rule. The point is that a Stoic does not turn a blind eye to pain, injustice or cruelty. They consider it a duty to humanity to make things better. They do this without worry about if they will succeed. They are compelled to try. With gratitude and respect,

Derrick, Kathryn, Todd

Yesterday, my sister and I found our missing grandparents.  Using DNA links and years of searching through Ancestry.com, MyHeritage.com, Find-A-Grave, ship manifests, and going down dozens of rabbit holes, we think we found them.  Of course, they are already dead, as are most of their siblings and offspring, including my family genealogy and some who are quite fearful about this unexpected discovery.  For my mother was adopted under strange conditions and never realized, until she was 45, that she was not who she thought she was. This news has stirred things up for a lot of people, perhaps worried we are coming for an inheritance? Of course, we are not. But DNA doesn’t lie.

They lived in rural Ontario, Canada.  Descendents from Scottish and Irish immigrants. Lives full and rich and hard-working.  Oh, my, how I wish I could have had them in my life!  The story of my grandparents is complicated and fascinating and scandalous.  It will not be a story that I share with the world, but it has affected me deeply.  This is the causal web of our lives, the unseen and invisible driver that moves us, shapes us, presents us with unique events that we use to sharpen our virtue and our purposes.  This is the Stoic acknowledgement of social connection and duty, which permeates all of our human nature. I am humbled and surprised by my own yearning to be a part of an unbroken lineage.   

The Stoics were not indifferent, I believe, to the impact of ancestry.  Even though not by blood connection, the Stoics honored their philosophical roots and leaders, going back to Chrysippus, Zeno, Socrates, even Hierocles.  So I admit, this new ‘knowing’ feels like the discovery of gold, a context which gives a larger framework that holds me in its arms.  At the same time, this information has little bearing on my now, with its daily prokopton work.   Still, as the Oracle of Delphi reminds us, we need to ‘know thyself’ to make progress. My grandparent’s legacy is in me and for that, I am so grateful for the new explanations of who I am. The hand of Fate, or in this case genes,  always nudging us forward in unpredictable but fundamentally connected ways! With gratitude and respect,

Kathryn, Todd, Derrick

I love this quote by Jerry Sternin “It is easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, than think your way into a new way of acting”.  I am approaching the one-year mark of taking showers without the use of warm water. I think of the above quote frequently when I step into very refreshing bathing experiences. 😊

You see, for me the ritual (act) of taking cold showers has offered me many gifts, the greatest amongst them is I now have confidence to do hard things and embrace discomfort. Moreover, I have discovered that I am able to change deeply held perspectives. Beginning in late May of last year, and for the first several weeks following, the act of stepping into that shivering shower environment was an effort in sheer will power. In fact, I purposely reduced the frequency of bathing due to my extreme aversion of this type of suffering. I have since wondered if my wife and coworkers appreciated the outcome of my new commitment to doing hard things.  Regardless, after a year of practice, I now look forward to my daily foray into the cold and I find it no longer feels quite so frigid. What was initially a 10-15 second adventure to wash is now a welcomed, multi-minute embrace of both the water and my stronger constitution.  This relatively easy new act has changed the way I think: my perspective of what is cold has been altered; my understanding of suffering has changed; and my competence in welcoming difficult situations has surely improved. I also attained the unexpected benefits of clearer skin, lowered water bills, and the smile I wear emerging from each shower.

Seneca encouraged people to not only welcome difficult things but to induce them. I think the idea of acting your way into a new way of thinking is precisely a goal of Seneca’s practice.

Several months ago, we invited you to share some of your Stoic practices. We invite you once again to share your insights by sending us an example of how you are ‘acting your way into a new way of thinking.’  We will share a selection of responses in a future Registry Report.

You can share your examples here. With gratitude and respect,

Todd, Derrick, Kathryn